Years pass by in a dreamy fog
Drowning myself in the inevitable,
Whispering to me through dreary seasons
Thoughts of things unattainable,
Blinding me from my desires
With bright sparks of ideas inexpressible
How can there be a dark seduction
In such an innocent beauty?
Time sweeps the surface clean
Revealing the skeleton of an ideal
That we have neglected to feed
Putting on trial the motives
That have directed our needs
Measuring how much
We are willing to bleed
For such a cause that it is able to inspire
On the most meaningful grounds
Always a world away from happiness,
But I stretch my wings out towards you, my fate;
Let your solemn current lift me above myself,
To that place where I have found it all. . .
Do you enjoy the feeling
Of some great power detached from your conscience?
That incompleteness; the enigmatic byproduct
Of your vain pleasure. . .
Do you feel comfort deep in the void
That you have dug for yourself?
Is there any meaning in it all,
Anything relating you to the potent future?
Sometimes it's a strangling,
I know the feeling—
The forces that manipulate time and realization
Throwing you out of your realm
Into an unraveling conversion
Slipping in and out through waves
Of ecstasy and contemplation
You get to pretend if you want,
It won't matter to me…
And I could save a soul tonight
Yours. . . but you won't know it
Until it’s too late
Are you so vulnerable
As to follow a blind instinct
To no real destination, void of reason,
Through the silence and vacancy of your universe?
Does the world seem as welcoming
Through your scattered eyes? . . .
Is the night as real to your delicate senses? . . .
Can you feel your heart trying to break out of its cage?
It is as much a hope
As it is an escape,
I can see it in your eyes,
A fragile memory you hide in your carelessness,
The heart you try to keep in tune with your mind
. . . Counting every minute, down to the last fateful opportunity
While your dreams slowly become lost desires
And your love dissolves into a hollow longing
Destined to echo softly through the rest of time. . .
It seems there are no words I can say
That can help you along
I can’t help it when I turn to look for you
And you’re already gone
Every time you leave me here
I keep a little bit of you
So I’m with you and you’re with me
No matter where you go or what you do
Though I worry how the world will treat you
How it will effect the life you choose
It's deeper than just beneath the surface
Nothing even eyes can interpret
Where are you?
Do you not want to be found?
You’re in my thoughts
But it's not the same when you’re not around
I’ve noticed the difference
But I still can’t admit
How it empties me
When you mean what you say, even a little bit
Because you come and go
As if everything will wait for you
While it’s all busy changing
Every moment I try to grasp and take control
There is a force that silences my will
So that every desire becomes a slave to you
And time is gradually becoming scarcer
The more we try to keep up
The farther away from us it seems to elude
There is mysterious longing in your expression
Promise in the purity of your innocence
It all could be found
A minute, a year, a time
This age, alone, the victim
Of anything once called 'mine'
Brother, sister, mother
I have not, I am alone
Father, friend, lover
Dead weight for this heart of stone
I don’t ever want to forget
The bliss between seasons,
The lucid air of summer days and nights,
The thoughts of future memories.
At least before the winter comes
I might see with more careful eyes
A home not my own
A song sung but never heard
Songs of rain and thunder
And sunshine, only afterwards
The signs unheeded,
Misleading and conceited
The power of reason and lines
No story to hide behind
To deny everything you ever needed
Glances stolen from a distance
Sold to the divine in an instant
The sweet persuasion of the unknown
Aiming right for the unguarded soul
And as always, gets lost in its own intent
A home I can call my own
This dream is one of love
Love for which I cannot yet provide a home
But I try with all the strength
Given to me from above
As she gives her youth away
I hope he treasures it as I would
Through time and tragedy
And that each promise is made
With the intention of being kept
Because God knows I can break a promise
But I'll never forget
When I come to the edge
No path left before my feet
All the world trembling in my hands
A nervous ball of mind and matter
But it is there, belonging to me
When I have gained enough
To understand a meaning beyond myself
It will not be long after when you will know
The eternity that ever-blossoms within me
I am a prisoner of my addictions
Blinded by a terrible stillness in me
I am a stray dog, unknown and undefeated
A lost crusader from many ages ago
Traveling through time and consciousness
When I am finished here
I need not worry where I am to go
I will be taken and existence will
Express itself through me once more
When I am lost, it always finds me
Weary from the struggles of mortality
And the sun keeps its promise
While I forget, distracted again
By the life it gives me
I am trapped in the vacuum of my own addictions
Tormented by a moment's helplessness
I am abandoned by the void itself
Put under the pressure of reality
Not knowing reasons why
When the well has run dry
And there is nothing that can satisfy
The protest within the verse
For you can't just fill the soul with words
When you look into my intemerate eyes
Revealing the truth I see in all the lies
It won’t take long for you to recognize
Yourself in I and the I in You
And the irreducible at the heart of existence
I hate that I want to kill myself.
Slowly. Sudden.
Spiritually painful and meaningless.
I breathe in and out; my last breath will be on a bus,
The stale atmosphere of the working class is my fresh air anyway.
But I love it.
I love the sweet taste of just the idea of death.
Non existence.
I could savor it like passing through a peaceful garden
On a stone pathway, clean, soft and smooth,
Therapeutic to the blisters on my feet.
I could savor the smell of orchids in a distant meadow
Melting the inside of my nostrils,
With its force pushing and pulling beneath my skin, reminding me
Of life.
I hate that I want to live.
That I seek what I may never find
And that each step forward implies infinite hope
In everything that is possible.
Living itself is a protest in a world like this.
But I love it
I love the freedom and responsibility of reason and purpose,
And how my skin peels at the sight of a beautiful woman,
No matter how I try to control myself.
It is a little piece of time trapped in a lense
Through which the universe reveals itself.
Still, from a distance;
Busy, in the midst.
I love perceiving the world, with the wonder and curiosity
That guides and challenges my being to progress.
I love the many deaths that occur during a lifetime,
The many births of our selves, transformations of being;
How death completes and gathers life
Creating with what is left behind.
I adore the vanity of the world.
I am entertained by the childish politics of representatives.
I laugh with the truths professed by other minds.
I live in the death that I anticipate,
While I try to grasp life as it slowly evaporates
With it, the ambition and passion of youth .
I'll miss the end
Because I wanted it too soon,
But I'll live forever
Under the lonely blue moon.
Maybe I'm wandering
I'm wandering alone
Maybe I've lost my way
I'm lost and I don't know the way
Back home
So don't wait for me,
Because nothing is for sure
Only that I love you
I only hope it's not too late
Because there's a journey;
A future waiting for me
And if I have to go it all alone,
I don't know what kind of man
I'd have to be
So if you see me out on the street,
Look in my eyes and you'll see that I'm lost
Without you
And everywhere I go
I see your face on every girl
I see you walk in all directions
I want to follow each of you's
Around the world
And into a different time
When everything is right
For me to love you
If I could share just one moment with you,
I would do what I can to make it last
And spread it out to fill all of our years
So I can spend the rest of my life
Making up for what we could've had
Because I never had much to give,
But I knew that what I did have,
I would give to you
And every single time
I feel that I said all there is to say,
All the details remind me
That the best parts cannot
Be expressed on a page. . .
How things change
What once was
Is no longer.
What you think is
Will, in time, be no more.
What will be. . .
How things change
Who you once were
You are no longer.
Who you think you are
Will, tomorrow, be someone different.
Who you want to be. . .
How things change
Even what I thought of you
Even what you think of yourself
Even every word that I want say
How things change
What once I saw,
My eyes fail to see now.
What I see now
I have never seen before.
And tomorrow. . .
I could be blind.
How things change
Where I have been
Is no longer known by the same name
Where I am now
Is not permanent
Where I will be. . .
How things change
Even the details of your face
Even the potential of my heart
Even the depth of my love for you
How things change
What I once feared
Is now my inspiration
That which I believed
Is now more than just belief
What once was a season
Is now a chapter in my life
How things change
What was once known
Is now forgotten
What is known now
Is useless
What will be known. . .
How things change
Even the soil underneath my feet
Even the voice that loves to sing
Even the hands that live to work
How things change
Between time and timeless
Despite the known and the unknown
Through order and disorder
How things change
Even what i think of you
Even what you know of yourself
Even the meaning behind a work of art
How things change
Even the look in your eyes
Even the heart behind your motive
...and the strangeness of this life
How helpless and vain it all is
At the wrath of Change
Far ahead in the distance
Beyond the many bridges we must burn
My heart waits for a reality
Rooted in the fate of the yet unlearned
No use for time, none at all
Words are as day before nightfall
In the garden, deep within the greenery
Of nature and her gentle pride
A meaning solid in the very soil
Hides from the rising ocean tide
But true as it may be
Hopelessness is all my eyes can see
To her, my being is bound
And from this comes the greatest wound
Timeless and vain, like a lost dream
Dragging through the hallways of my mind
Oh, how destiny can be so unkind
Still there is much to give to time
For every day that passes
For every star that shines in the night sky
All that is around and within
The vision of the souls’ naked eye
We call divine the sight that is unseen
And can only wonder the power a simple thought can bring
Enough love to make the world a better place
To inspire a boy to become not only a man
But an artist in his every word and action
And a soldier for all he can understand
For this heart she carries so precious and true
Over time has affected me in ways I cannot undo
Somehow it connects me to everything
That I've come to know and love about the world
No matter what direction the river flows
I trust it leads to where I must be